“Perhaps it’s good for one to suffer. Can an artist do anything if he’s happy? Would he ever want to do anything? What is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?”
I am an artist. Being an artist means something. We have a need to create and grow, through our expression. It’s extremely hard. Late nights, failed shows, empty bank accounts, amazing ideas that wither away or if you make something out of them you reject them as soon as they’re finished. You search for validation, but not by the unartistic public, but from other skilled artists that can tell you what’s wrong with it, how to make it better. What’s wrong with you, how to make you better, a better artist. You hate the thing you love but you love it because it’s you. It’s what you do, it’s who you are, you’re an artist.
Reminds me of when I moved into my first apartment with my two best friends at the time. I hadn’t worked on any art since I graduated high school. I had a lot my old paintings on the walls for obvious reasons and we’d throw parties every Sunday night. One guest was telling his friend that I was the “artist” to the painting above the sink. I said I don’t think I really qualify as that anymore since I haven’t done anything in months. He replied with something along the lines of “being an artist is a lifestyle. If it’s a part of your every day experience then you’re an artist, even if you haven’t done anything in a while.” I’m pretty sure that same friend later ‘painted’ my white walls and shag rug with the bottle of Layer Cake red wine he dropped. I still have the rug-sans stain. But ever since then I’ve made sure that even if I haven’t finished a painting or sold anything at a show, I make the effort to EARN the title of BEING AN ARTIST in all things I do. Even if it sucks.
I’m not a writer. Never had any want to express myself through the written word. But apparently it’s necessary for blogging. I don’t want to bullshit you with bullshit inspiration that has no value to the reality of life to get more traffic. I’m not going to be someone I’m not. Especially since with the amount of sides I have, why add a soggy salad bar to the buffet of personality traits I’m willing to serve you for the flat rate of “please buy my artwork”?
I’m usually pretty good with keeping my word so here’s a list of promises regarding anything I’ll post in the future:
-I will be as honest as possible
-I will limit my self loathing to only humorous levels
-no fake inspirational bullshit
-I will be as vulnerable as possible
-I’ll probably be an ass
-I will speak to you the same way I speak to anyone who knows me personally
Thank you for reading. 🖤